The circuit breaker

I ought to be writing.

Or composing thank-you notes. Or organizing my notes for tomorrow's
class. Or wrapping birthday presents. Or looking over the course
catalogue for graduate school. Or... something.

Instead, I'm sitting slack-jawed on the couch in front of the TV set,
absorbing the Powerpuff Girls and grinning like an idiot.

I can't understand it. I'd been waiting for a day when I had nothing
to do so that I'd have a chance to catch up on my writing... and my
laundry... and my bills... and the e-mail I've let pile up during the past
few weeks.

I was doing well for a while, too. Had all my assignments read and
my lectures typed. Made it to the post office in time. Cooked dinner for
my grandmother and answered my phone calls while ironing shirts. Even
forced myself to do twenty-five minutes of writing...

...and that's when I knew something was wrong. It shouldn't be
that way. Writing is something I enjoy doing, something I look forward to
doing. So why did I feel as though I was stuck in chemistry class?

Okay, it wasn't that bad.

But it didn't flow. And I wasn't flowing, either... I felt the way
my car did last Wednesday, when its transmission collapsed on the road to
Allston. My engine was revving, but I wasn't going anywhere, just sending
up clouds of steam and infuriating everyone around me.

And then, at around 8:45, something just snapped. It's like a
circuit breaker tripped in my brain. I knew what I had to do -- what I
thought I wanted to do -- but I couldn't do anything other than sit in
front of the television and say, "Huh huh, huh huh, monkeys are funny."

Some fairly intelligent people have suggested to me recently that I
need to take a break. "You need to think about your life," they've said.
"You need to not be running around all the time," they've said. "Curse you,
Powerpuff Girls! You've meddled in my plans for the last time!" they've
said.

Wait. That was the television.

Anyway, they're right. Something has to give. I need to step back,
find a way to put things in perspective, reset my circuit breaker...

...unless, of course, I've blown a fuse.